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Psychological Illusions

 

Section II

7.   Self-Remembering:
A key, a door, a missing link


     Self-remembering is the key to self-study and the ideal method to study consciousness within oneself.  Ouspensky states that, when Gurdjieff introduced him to the fourth way teaching, he immediately recognized that this practice is of profound importance.  Thus, he argues that:

"... psychology begins at this point. ... man does not remember himself but could remember himself if he made sufficient efforts. Without self-remembering there can be no study, no psychology. But if a man realizes and bears in mind that he does not remember himself, and that nobody remembers, and yet there is a possibility of self-remembering, then study begins." (1950, p. 120)
Ouspensky adamantly stresses that without self-remembering there is no self-study, no psychology.

    Self-remembering involves an effort to awaken by being more present within life situations and under all different kinds of circumstances.  Once an individual attempts to do this, they soon realize how quickly and easily they forget.  There is no central or indivisible I, that has will and the control of attention, and which could ‘do’ this.  Instead, there are one thousand and one little i’s which parade out, absorb the attention and engage in the habitual dynamics of the wrong workings of the centers and the concerns of false personality.  It is most difficult to maintain awareness of “I am here” for more than a few moments before being distracted and engaged by associative thinking and imagination, by negative emotions and personal concerns, and then slipping back into the unconsciousness of the usual waking sleep. Humans live in a state of forgetfulness, continually absorbed and engaged by everything happening around and within them.  Self-remembering requires a conscious effort to wake up and be more fully present amidst the mechanical flow of happenings that condition and enslave us.
     Gurdjieff explains how self-remembering is a method for the study of consciousness–its appearance and disappearance:

“... you can know consciousness only in yourself. Observe that I say you can know, for you can know it only when you have it. And when you have not got it, you can know that you have not got it, not at that very moment, but afterwards. I mean that when it comes again you can see that it has been absent a long time, and you can find or remember the moment when it disappeared and when it reappeared. ... by observing in yourself the appearance and the disappearance of consciousness you will inevitably see one fact which you neither see nor acknowledge now, and that is that moments of consciousness are very short and are separated by long intervals of completely unconscious, mechanical working of the machine. You will then see that you can think, feel, act, speak, work, without being conscious of it. And if you learn to see in yourselves the moments of consciousness and the long periods of mechanicalness, you will as infallibly see in other people when they are conscious of what they are doing and when they are not.
“Your principal mistake consists in thinking that you always have consciousness, and in general, either that consciousness is always present or that it is never present. In reality consciousness is a property which is continually changing. Now it is present, now it is not present. And there are different degrees and different levels of consciousness. Both consciousness and the different degrees of consciousness must be understood in oneself by sensation, by taste.” (1949, pp. 116-117)

    Through self-remembering, we study the degrees and qualities of consciousness.  Usually, we are not conscious of ourselves and our attention is continually absorbed by the turning of the mind, negative emotional states and personal concerns, and everything  happening around us.  When we remember to be more fully conscious, then we can realize how unconscious we are in the periods before self remembering.  Through self-remembering, we begin to realize how unconscious we normally are, not at the time but afterwards, when we remember ourselves again. Self-remembering begins to make consciousness more visible to us, by demonstrating the inability to remember self.  As a method for the study and enhancement of consciousness, self-remembering reveals the nature of the waking sleep state, while at the same time, it begins to de-automatize the usual processes which go on in the state of automated consciousness.
    Despite the importance of self-remembering, defining it is a tricky business.  There are many angles from which this practice can be approached and definitions are useful–although only to a point.  One must practice self-remembering, learning to define it, as G. says, “by sensation, by taste,” in order to gain a true sense of its profound significance.  Nevertheless, Ouspensky defines self-remembering quite simply and distinguishes it from the related practice of self-observation:
 
"Self-remembering is an attempt to be aware of yourself. Self-observation is always directed at some definite function: either you observe your thoughts, or movements, or emotions, or sensations. It must have a definite object which you observe in yourself. Self-remembering does not divide you, you must remember the whole, it is simply the feeling of ‘I,’ of your own person." (1957, p. 107)


Self-observation is directed towards particular contents of experience and the activities of the centers.  In contrast, self-remembering is experiencing or feeling/sensing the whole of self.   Remembering self means being more fully present as a three-centered being, in such a way that one’s experience consists of a deeper sense and feeling that “I am here.”
    On one occasion, Gurdjieff asked a group of his pupils, “What is the most important thing that we notice during self observation?”  Dissatisfied with their answers, Gurdjieff explained that:
 

“Not one of you has noticed the most important thing that I have pointed out to you .... That is to say, not one of you has noticed that you do not remember yourselves. ... You do not feel yourselves; you are not conscious of yourselves. With you, ‘it observes’ just as ‘it speaks,’‘it thinks,’ ‘it laughs.’ You do not feel: I observe, I notice, I see. Everything still ‘is noticed,’ ‘is seen.’ ... In order really to observe oneself one must first of all remember oneself. ... Try to remember yourselves when you observe yourselves and later on tell me the results. Only those results will have any value that are accompanied by self-remembering. Otherwise you yourselves do not exist in your observations. In which case what are all your observations worth?” (1949, pp, 117-8)

At moments of self-observation, we need to remember ourselves and experience being fully present.  In this case, there is an enhanced experience of I, in addition to the observation of the psychic functions.  Ouspensky ascribes major importance to this deceptively simple idea:

"So, at the same time as self-observing, we try to be aware of ourselves by holding the sensation of ‘I am here’–nothing more, And this is the fact that all Western psychology, without the smallest exception, has missed. Although many people came very near to it, they did not recognize the importance of this fact and did not realize that the state of man as he is can be changed-that man can remember himself, if he tries for a long time."  (1957, p. 5)
    Again, it is impossible to appreciate the significance of this apparently simple practice of self-remembering until one undertakes the study of oneself on that basis.  Only then can one begin to understand Ouspensky’s claim that the study of psychology has to begin with attempts to remember oneself.    Modern psychology has erred in failing to understand the normal waking sleep state. Humans do not remember themselves and are not properly conscious, and have no “conscious self” as such.  However, they can study self in the inner world and make intentional efforts to enhance consciousness.
    Gurdjieff and Ouspensky refer to the ordinary waking state, the state of forgetfulness, as a state of “relative consciousness” or  “waking sleep.”  Self-observation and self-remembering serve in the development of self-consciousness (and objective consciousness).  Ouspensky explains some of the difficulties in understanding consciousness, particularly self-consciousness:
"The third state of consciousness is very strange. If people explain to us what the third state of consciousness is, we begin to think that we have it. The third state can be called self consciousness, and most people, if asked, say, 'Certainly we are conscious!' A sufficient time or repeated and frequent efforts of self observation is necessary before we really recognize the fact that we are not conscious; that we are conscious only potentially.  If we are asked, we say, ‘Yes, I am’, and for that moment we are, but the next moment we cease to remember and are not conscious. So in the process of self-observation we realize that we are not in the third state of consciousness, that we live only in two. We live either in sleep or in a waking sleep which, in the system, is called relative consciousness. The fourth state, which is called objective consciousness, is inaccessible to us because it can only be reached through self-consciousness, that is, by becoming aware of oneself first, so that much later we may manage to reach the objective state of consciousness." (1957, pp.4-5)
Over a period of time, the effects of self-study and self-remembering remove various obstacles to consciousness and allow the emergence of self-consciousness.  The basic framework is quite coherent and logical, although it is difficult to realize what lies behind all of these fine words.

    To realize what self-remembering is, and is not, is a long and subtle process, and various problems arise as people attempt to study and remember themselves.  Each person will tend to interpret the term according to their own associations and beliefs.   For the time being, it is most useful simply to approach the elusive practice of “self-remembering” by attempting to do it, anywhere and anytime.

    Misunderstandings and misconceptions about self-remembering  generate  errors and illusions regarding its practice.  First and foremost, people are apt to confuse being conscious of self or remembering self with thinking about ourselves, or thinking about self-remembering.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  In fact, the continual turning of the mind, as it is referred to in eastern esoteric teachings, is a major obstacle to self-remembering.  The associative thinking happens mechanically and is not something that “I” do, or could even not do.  Associative thinking and emotional concerns continually engage the attention, and prevent people from experiencing the deeper coherence, feeling and sensation that “I am here.”
    Negative emotions, self love and vanity, imagination and internal considering, and the turning of the mind, are all obstacles to self-remembering because each of these processes are based on identification and attachment.  When a person is in a state of identification, he or she are attached emotionally to anything and everything that captures the attention.  In this way, the many little i’s are nourished and kept alive by emotional attachments, sexual desires and instinctual appetites.  Gurdjieff depicts the dis-identification process involved in the struggle towards the state of self-consciousness:

“... a man must die, that is, he must free himself from a thousand petty attachments and identifications which hold him in the position in which he is. He is attached to everything in his life, attached to his imagination, attached to his stupidity, attached even to his suffering, possibly to his sufferings more than to anything else. He must free himself from this attachment. Attachment to things, identification with things, keep alive a thousand useless I’s in a man. These I’s must die in order that the big I may be born." (1949, p. 218)

It is not possible to self-remember at the same time as being identified.  One’s awareness is normally  identified with or engaged by the thoughts, feelings and concerns of little i's.  In contrast, the achieving of self-consciousness involves a change of being, and the emergence of real “I.”

    A human being, in waking sleep (or relative consciousness), is always identified and lost in attachments.  When self-remembering, consciousness is centered more in the essence of our being, rather than in imagination and the concerns of false personality, or the itching and wanderings of the organs and nerves.  Self-remembering takes considerable time to understand, because we do not know what self is, or that “I AM.”  People know only what Gurdjieff calls the little i’s, but not “big I” or “real I.”

    It is useful to remember the central idea that humans are not properly conscious, and it is necessary to remember to be more conscious and aware of self throughout the day, whenever you can remember to do so.  Ouspensky (1957) explained:

"When we try to keep all these things in mind and to observe ourselves, we come to the very definite conclusion that in the state of consciousness in which we are, with all this identification, considering, negative emotions and absence of self-remembering, we are really asleep. We only imagine that we are awake. So when we try to remember ourselves it means only one thing–we try to awake. And we do awake for a second but then we fall asleep again. This is our state of being, so actually we are asleep.  We can awake only if we correct many things in the machine and if we work very persistently on this idea of awaking, and for a long time." (p. 13)

    Self-remembering is both simple and complex, as a practice and as a state. As a practice, it is a missing link in known psychological theories, and a key to self-study and the study of psychology.  It is a method of awakening which begins demonstrates how we are asleep, lived out in an unconscious and mechanical state.  When we initially begin to self remember, we cannot do so, because we are always so lost and absorbed by life and everything that happens.  However, in time, one begins to understand why the mystical traditions, and the fourth way teaching in particular, portray humans as living in a state of illusion and forgetfulness.  Self-remembering provides a method to overcome this condition.

    To illustrate the importance of self-remembering, Gurdjieff compares our state of sleep and mechanicalness with being imprisoned.  Ouspensky wrote:

"G.'s favorite statement was that, if a man in prison was at any time to have a chance of escape, then he must first of all realize that he is in prison. So long as he fails to realize this, so long as he thinks he is free, he has no chance whatever." (1949, p. 30)

    Self-remembering, combined with self-observation and self-study, provides the means by which a human can realize how he or she is imprisoned.  At the same time, it provides the key to escaping this horror and waste.  For Ouspensky and Gurdjieff, self-remembering is a necessary method for any meaningful psychology, a form of conscious effort to study consciousness within self.

    To awaken, to die, to be reborn–these are three steps in the process of transformation which  Gurdjieff describes.  A person has first to wake up–realizing the normal condition of their personal waking sleep and lack of consciousness.  Secondly, one has to die to the old, realizing one’s nothingness and the lie of the ego or false personality.   Thirdly, the individual must be reborn within the essence, to realize the higher centers and states of enlightened self knowledge and objective consciousness.   Psychology begins with self-remembering–a key to the process of changing one’s being and to the studying consciousness within the inner world.
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