Section II
7. Self-Remembering:
A key, a door, a missing link
Self-remembering is the key to self-study
and the ideal method to study consciousness within oneself.
Ouspensky
states that, when Gurdjieff introduced him to the fourth way teaching,
he immediately recognized that this practice is of profound
importance.
Thus, he argues that:
"... psychology begins at this point. ... man does not remember himself
but could remember himself if he made sufficient efforts. Without
self-remembering
there can be no study, no psychology. But if a man realizes and bears
in
mind that he does not remember himself, and that nobody remembers, and
yet there is a possibility of self-remembering, then study begins."
(1950,
p. 120)
Ouspensky adamantly stresses that without self-remembering there is no
self-study, no psychology.
Self-remembering involves an effort to awaken by
being more present within life situations and under all different kinds
of circumstances. Once an individual attempts to do this, they
soon
realize how quickly and easily they forget. There is no central
or
indivisible I, that has will and the control of attention, and which
could
‘do’ this. Instead, there are one thousand and one little i’s
which
parade out, absorb the attention and engage in the habitual dynamics of
the wrong workings of the centers and the concerns of false
personality.
It is most difficult to maintain awareness of “I am here” for more than
a few moments before being distracted and engaged by associative
thinking
and imagination, by negative emotions and personal concerns, and then
slipping
back into the unconsciousness of the usual waking sleep. Humans live in
a state of forgetfulness, continually absorbed and engaged by
everything
happening around and within them. Self-remembering requires a
conscious
effort to wake up and be more fully present amidst the mechanical flow
of happenings that condition and enslave us. |
Gurdjieff explains how
self-remembering is
a method for the study of consciousness–its appearance and
disappearance:
“... you can know consciousness only in yourself. Observe that I say
you can know, for you can know it only when you have it. And when you
have
not got it, you can know that you have not got it, not at that very
moment,
but afterwards. I mean that when it comes again you can see that it has
been absent a long time, and you can find or remember the moment when
it
disappeared and when it reappeared. ... by observing in yourself the
appearance
and the disappearance of consciousness you will inevitably see one fact
which you neither see nor acknowledge now, and that is that moments of
consciousness are very short and are separated by long intervals of
completely
unconscious, mechanical working of the machine. You will then see that
you can think, feel, act, speak, work, without being conscious of it.
And
if you learn to see in yourselves the moments of consciousness and the
long periods of mechanicalness, you will as infallibly see in other
people
when they are conscious of what they are doing and when they are not.
“Your principal mistake consists in thinking that you always have
consciousness,
and in general, either that consciousness is always present or that it
is never present. In reality consciousness is a property which is
continually
changing. Now it is present, now it is not present. And there are
different
degrees and different levels of consciousness. Both consciousness and
the
different degrees of consciousness must be understood in oneself by
sensation,
by taste.” (1949, pp. 116-117)
Through self-remembering, we study the degrees and
qualities
of consciousness. Usually, we are not conscious of ourselves and
our attention is continually absorbed by the turning of the mind,
negative
emotional states and personal concerns, and everything happening
around us. When we remember to be more fully conscious, then we
can
realize how unconscious we are in the periods before self
remembering.
Through self-remembering, we begin to realize how unconscious we
normally
are, not at the time but afterwards, when we remember ourselves again.
Self-remembering begins to make consciousness more visible to us, by
demonstrating
the inability to remember self. As a method for the study and
enhancement
of consciousness, self-remembering reveals the nature of the waking
sleep
state, while at the same time, it begins to de-automatize the usual
processes
which go on in the state of automated consciousness. |
Despite the importance of self-remembering, defining
it is a tricky business. There are many angles from which this
practice
can be approached and definitions are useful–although only to a
point.
One must practice self-remembering, learning to define it, as G. says,
“by sensation, by taste,” in order to gain a true sense of its profound
significance. Nevertheless, Ouspensky defines self-remembering
quite
simply and distinguishes it from the related practice of
self-observation:
"Self-remembering is an attempt to be aware of yourself.
Self-observation
is always directed at some definite function: either you observe your
thoughts,
or movements, or emotions, or sensations. It must have a definite
object
which you observe in yourself. Self-remembering does not divide you,
you
must remember the whole, it is simply the feeling of ‘I,’ of your own
person."
(1957, p. 107)
Self-observation is directed towards particular contents of experience
and the activities of the centers. In contrast, self-remembering
is experiencing or feeling/sensing the whole of self.
Remembering
self means being more fully present as a three-centered being, in such
a way that one’s experience consists of a deeper sense and feeling that
“I am here.”
On one occasion, Gurdjieff asked a group of his
pupils, “What is the most important thing that we notice during self
observation?”
Dissatisfied with their answers, Gurdjieff explained that:
“Not one of you has noticed the most important thing that I have
pointed
out to you .... That is to say, not one of you has noticed that you do
not remember yourselves. ... You do not feel yourselves; you are not
conscious
of yourselves. With you, ‘it observes’ just as ‘it speaks,’‘it thinks,’
‘it laughs.’ You do not feel: I observe, I notice, I see. Everything
still
‘is noticed,’ ‘is seen.’ ... In order really to observe oneself one
must
first of all remember oneself. ... Try to remember yourselves when you
observe yourselves and later on tell me the results. Only those results
will have any value that are accompanied by self-remembering. Otherwise
you yourselves do not exist in your observations. In which case what
are
all your observations worth?” (1949, pp, 117-8)
At moments of self-observation, we need to remember
ourselves and
experience being fully present. In this case, there is an
enhanced
experience of I, in addition to the observation of the psychic
functions.
Ouspensky ascribes major importance to this deceptively simple idea:
"So, at the same time as self-observing, we try to be aware of
ourselves
by holding the sensation of ‘I am here’–nothing more, And this is the
fact
that all Western psychology, without the smallest exception, has
missed.
Although many people came very near to it, they did not recognize the
importance
of this fact and did not realize that the state of man as he is can be
changed-that man can remember himself, if he tries for a long
time."
(1957, p. 5)
Again, it is impossible to appreciate the
significance
of this apparently simple practice of self-remembering until one
undertakes
the study of oneself on that basis. Only then can one begin to
understand
Ouspensky’s claim that the study of psychology has to begin with
attempts
to remember oneself. Modern psychology has erred in
failing
to understand the normal waking sleep state. Humans do not remember
themselves
and are not properly conscious, and have no “conscious self” as
such.
However, they can study self in the inner world and make intentional
efforts
to enhance consciousness.
|
Gurdjieff and Ouspensky refer to the ordinary waking
state, the state of forgetfulness, as a state of “relative
consciousness”
or “waking sleep.” Self-observation and self-remembering
serve
in the development of self-consciousness (and objective
consciousness).
Ouspensky explains some of the difficulties in understanding
consciousness,
particularly self-consciousness:
"The third state of consciousness is very strange.
If people
explain to us what the third state of consciousness is, we begin to
think
that we have it. The third state can be called self consciousness, and
most people, if asked, say, 'Certainly we are conscious!' A sufficient
time or repeated and frequent efforts of self observation is necessary
before we really recognize the fact that we are not conscious; that we
are conscious only potentially. If we are asked, we say, ‘Yes, I
am’, and for that moment we are, but the next moment we cease to
remember
and are not conscious. So in the process of self-observation we realize
that we are not in the third state of consciousness, that we live only
in two. We live either in sleep or in a waking sleep which, in the
system,
is called relative consciousness. The fourth state, which is called
objective
consciousness, is inaccessible to us because it can only be reached
through
self-consciousness, that is, by becoming aware of oneself first, so
that
much later we may manage to reach the objective state of
consciousness."
(1957, pp.4-5)
Over a period of time, the effects of self-study and self-remembering
remove various obstacles to consciousness and allow the emergence of
self-consciousness.
The basic framework is quite coherent and logical, although it is
difficult
to realize what lies behind all of these fine words.
To realize what self-remembering is, and is not,
is a long and subtle process, and various problems arise as people
attempt
to study and remember themselves. Each person will tend to
interpret
the term according to their own associations and beliefs.
For
the time being, it is most useful simply to approach the elusive
practice
of “self-remembering” by attempting to do it, anywhere and anytime.
Misunderstandings and misconceptions about
self-remembering
generate errors and illusions regarding its practice. First
and foremost, people are apt to confuse being conscious of self or
remembering
self with thinking about ourselves, or thinking about
self-remembering.
Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, the continual
turning
of the mind, as it is referred to in eastern esoteric teachings, is a
major
obstacle to self-remembering. The associative thinking happens
mechanically
and is not something that “I” do, or could even not do.
Associative
thinking and emotional concerns continually engage the attention, and
prevent
people from experiencing the deeper coherence, feeling and sensation
that
“I am here.”
|
Negative emotions, self love and vanity,
imagination
and internal considering, and the turning of the mind, are all
obstacles
to self-remembering because each of these processes are based on
identification
and attachment. When a person is in a state of identification, he
or she are attached emotionally to anything and everything that
captures
the attention. In this way, the many little i’s are nourished and
kept alive by emotional attachments, sexual desires and instinctual
appetites.
Gurdjieff depicts the dis-identification process involved in the
struggle
towards the state of self-consciousness:
“... a man must die, that is, he must free himself from a thousand
petty attachments and identifications which hold him in the position in
which he is. He is attached to everything in his life, attached to his
imagination, attached to his stupidity, attached even to his suffering,
possibly to his sufferings more than to anything else. He must free
himself
from this attachment. Attachment to things, identification with things,
keep alive a thousand useless I’s in a man. These I’s must die in order
that the big I may be born." (1949, p. 218)
It is not possible to self-remember at the same time as being
identified.
One’s awareness is normally identified with or engaged by the
thoughts,
feelings and concerns of little i's. In contrast, the achieving
of
self-consciousness involves a change of being, and the emergence of
real
“I.”
A human being, in waking sleep (or relative
consciousness),
is always identified and lost in attachments. When
self-remembering,
consciousness is centered more in the essence of our being, rather than
in imagination and the concerns of false personality, or the itching
and
wanderings of the organs and nerves. Self-remembering takes
considerable
time to understand, because we do not know what self is, or that “I
AM.”
People know only what Gurdjieff calls the little i’s, but not “big I”
or
“real I.”
It is useful to remember the central idea that
humans
are not properly conscious, and it is necessary to remember to be more
conscious and aware of self throughout the day, whenever you can
remember
to do so. Ouspensky (1957) explained:
"When we try to keep all these things in mind and to observe ourselves,
we come to the very definite conclusion that in the state of
consciousness
in which we are, with all this identification, considering, negative
emotions
and absence of self-remembering, we are really asleep. We only imagine
that we are awake. So when we try to remember ourselves it means only
one
thing–we try to awake. And we do awake for a second but then we fall
asleep
again. This is our state of being, so actually we are asleep. We
can awake only if we correct many things in the machine and if we work
very persistently on this idea of awaking, and for a long time." (p. 13)
Self-remembering is both simple and complex, as a
practice
and as a state. As a practice, it is a missing link in known
psychological
theories, and a key to self-study and the study of psychology. It
is a method of awakening which begins demonstrates how we are asleep,
lived
out in an unconscious and mechanical state. When we initially
begin
to self remember, we cannot do so, because we are always so lost and
absorbed
by life and everything that happens. However, in time, one begins
to understand why the mystical traditions, and the fourth way teaching
in particular, portray humans as living in a state of illusion and
forgetfulness.
Self-remembering provides a method to overcome this condition.
To illustrate the importance of self-remembering,
Gurdjieff compares our state of sleep and mechanicalness with being
imprisoned.
Ouspensky wrote:
"G.'s favorite statement was that, if a man in prison was at any time
to have a chance of escape, then he must first of all realize that he
is
in prison. So long as he fails to realize this, so long as he thinks he
is free, he has no chance whatever." (1949, p. 30)
Self-remembering, combined with self-observation and
self-study, provides the means by which a human can realize how he or
she
is imprisoned. At the same time, it provides the key to escaping
this horror and waste. For Ouspensky and Gurdjieff,
self-remembering
is a necessary method for any meaningful psychology, a form of
conscious
effort to study consciousness within self.
To awaken, to die, to be reborn–these are three
steps in the process of transformation which Gurdjieff
describes.
A person has first to wake up–realizing the normal condition of their
personal
waking sleep and lack of consciousness. Secondly, one has to die
to the old, realizing one’s nothingness and the lie of the ego or false
personality. Thirdly, the individual must be reborn within
the essence, to realize the higher centers and states of enlightened
self
knowledge and objective consciousness. Psychology begins
with
self-remembering–a key to the process of changing one’s being and to
the
studying consciousness within the inner world. |
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of
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for Psychological Illusions
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